Butches hate me because I’m damn super butch.

I was actually going to start this post by writing a list of things a butch can do that a femme can’t or shouldn’t. But once again, I got so amused by this Skype conversation I had with Crappy Girl that I just had to post it up. Forgive me, it’s a Tuesday with nothing much to do…

[3:37:35 PM] Princess Leia says: yo
[3:37:39 PM] Princess Leia says: i got new blog already
[3:37:43 PM] Princess Leia says: got sick of my old blog
[3:37:44 PM] Princess Leia says: wahahah
[3:37:48 PM] Princess Leia says: wanna read?
[3:37:54 PM] Princess Leia says: only three entries..cos i just started this new one.
[3:38:15 PM] D L says: send la
[3:38:19 PM] D L says:  i on phone now
[3:38:23 PM] Princess Leia says: http://ngeowkia.wordpress.com/
[3:38:28 PM] Princess Leia says: by the way, im a butch now
[3:45:01 PM] D L`says: wat the fuck hahaha
[3:45:33 PM] Princess Leia says: huh
[3:45:39 PM] Princess Leia says: dun laugh at me man
[3:45:42 PM] Princess Leia says: i no sissy
[3:45:52 PM] D L says: wat the fuck is a cavebutch?
[3:45:58 PM] D L says: wat u no sissy?
[3:46:06 PM] Princess Leia says: im a cavebutch man
[3:46:06 PM] D L says: I WANT MY BEST FRIEND BACK!!!
[3:46:19 PM] Princess Leia says: i eat redmeat
[3:46:23 PM] Princess Leia says: gimme eat
[3:46:25 PM] D L says: wahahaha
[3:46:35 PM] D L says: come drag me back to your cave by my hair
[3:47:08 PM] Princess Leia says: i dont want
[3:47:10 PM] Princess Leia says: u sissy femme
[3:47:19 PM] Princess Leia says: i want a flame thrower welding dyke
[3:47:39 PM] Princess Leia says: must be able to help me comb my mullet
[3:50:45 PM] D L says: wahahaha
[3:50:49 PM] D L says: it’s hilarious!!
[3:51:17 PM] Princess Leia says: phui
[3:51:21 PM] Princess Leia says: im so serious now ok
[3:51:21 PM] D L says: seriously you need to just continue writing and in a year, you’ll have enough shit to start editing and then publish
[3:51:31 PM] Princess Leia says: …..
[3:51:37 PM] D L  says: i would buy the book!
[3:51:37 PM] Princess Leia says: i hate all my entries
[3:51:39 PM] Princess Leia says: they bore me..
[3:51:42 PM] D L says: i would buy 10 copies!
[3:51:46 PM] Princess Leia says: thats why i ditched Livejournal
[3:51:49 PM] D L says: i be your editor!!!
[3:51:53 PM] Princess Leia says: i got sick of seeing my own entries
[3:52:05 PM] Princess Leia says: u go write your morbid book first la
[3:52:07 PM] D L says: gimme your entries (was going to type entrails)
[3:52:32 PM] D L says: i keep for you then when i’m rich and famous from my book, i’ll edit and publish yours
[3:52:40 PM] Princess Leia says: LOL
[3:52:43 PM] Princess Leia says: i dun wan
[3:52:51 PM] Princess Leia says: im sure i wrote something unforgivable about u
[3:52:56 PM] Princess Leia says: and then u will hate me forever
[3:52:56 PM] D L says: phui!
[3:53:01 PM] Princess Leia says: and i then i will go jump off a building
[3:53:05 PM] D L says: not forever la
[3:53:08 PM] Princess Leia says: despite being a big strong butch
[3:53:12 PM] D L says: i’ll hate you for half my life
[3:53:16 PM] Princess Leia says: eyyer..
[3:53:17 PM] D L says: wahahaha
[3:53:19 PM] Princess Leia says: no way
[3:53:27 PM] D L says: i’ll hate you for 1/4 my life
[3:53:35 PM] Princess Leia says: u just have to start reading slowly from this new blog
[3:53:47 PM] D L says: considering i smoke and eat rubbish, my whole life wont be very long so 1/4 is not too bad
[3:54:16 PM] Princess Leia says: see how first la
[3:54:21 PM] Princess Leia says: i go edit the old LJ first
[3:54:23 PM] Princess Leia says: wahahahhaha
[3:54:28 PM] D L says: thot u bored?
[3:54:36 PM] D L says: i can’t see you as big bad butch
[3:54:39 PM] Princess Leia says: yeah i am
[3:54:43 PM] D L says: i more butch than you la please!!
[3:54:51 PM] Princess Leia says: but even big bad butches need to take a break for awhile from being butch
[3:54:52 PM] Princess Leia says: tiring leh
[3:55:06 PM] Princess Leia says: u think very fun isit…have to wear bluntstones at home
[3:55:11 PM] D L says: hahaha
[3:55:21 PM] Princess Leia says: but luckily spring is coming
[3:55:26 PM] Princess Leia says: i can be a granola butch
[3:55:29 PM] Princess Leia says: birkenstocks here i come@
[3:55:31 PM] D L says: y u wearing shoes in the house?
[3:55:38 PM] Princess Leia says: butch mah
[3:55:40 PM] D L says: eeewww
[3:55:46 PM] D L says: no granola butches please
[3:55:48 PM] Princess Leia says: u ever see a butch without butch wear on?!!
[3:55:50 PM] Princess Leia says: spring leh…
[3:55:54 PM] D L says: nooooooo
[3:55:56 PM] Princess Leia says: too hot to wear bluntstones
[3:55:59 PM] D L says:  noooooooooo!!!
[3:56:00 PM] Princess Leia says: plus
[3:56:06 PM] Princess Leia says: i gotta show off my butchy toe hair
[3:56:12 PM] D L says: GIMME MY FEMME-Y BEST FRIEND BACK!
[3:56:19 PM] Princess Leia says: no more liao
[3:56:24 PM] Princess Leia says: as a butch
[3:56:28 PM] D L says: THE ONE WHO WEAR EYESHADOW AT HOME, NOT BLUNT-FUCKING-STONES
[3:56:32 PM] Princess Leia says: i dont have to do dishes or wash the floor or toilet
[3:56:51 PM] Princess Leia says: and best…i dont have to find dresses to wear for wot dnd
[3:56:58 PM] Princess Leia says: i can wear man suit!!!
[3:57:00 PM] D L says: gross
[3:57:08 PM] Princess Leia says: and my dad wont ask me if my gf wears man shirts
[3:57:10 PM] D L says: dun wanna be your best friend liao
[3:57:12 PM] Princess Leia says: cos i wear man shirts!!
[3:57:16 PM] D L says: hahaha
[3:57:25 PM] Princess Leia says: and i dun have to wear bra anymore
[3:57:26 PM] D L says: idiot child
[3:57:29 PM] Princess Leia says: i can tie my boobs around my waist
[3:57:46 PM] D L says: please lor if u dun wear bra, in 10 years you can braid them
[3:58:02 PM] Princess Leia says: ok..im gonna write an entry soon about what i can do as a butch vs femme
[3:58:16 PM] D L says: cool…. i think… sigh…
[3:58:21 PM] D L says: eyes roll heaven ward
[3:58:26 PM] D L says: eyes roll to JB
[3:58:32 PM] Princess Leia says: eyeeer
[3:58:34 PM] D L says: eyes roll to Beijing
[3:58:40 PM] Princess Leia says: later get stuck at customs at the causeway again
[3:58:46 PM] D L says: haha
[3:58:48 PM] Princess Leia says: someone will sure spit on your eyeballs
[3:58:56 PM] D L says: or step on them
[3:59:00 PM] D L says: bye bye eyeballs
[3:59:04 PM] Princess Leia says: yup
[3:59:05 PM] D L says: i blame you!!
[3:59:10 PM] Princess Leia says: okay..im gonna go do butch things now
[3:59:12 PM] D L says: u make my eyes roll
[3:59:14 PM] Princess Leia says: like comb armpit hair
[3:59:17 PM] D L says: wahahahaha
[3:59:21 PM] D L says: gross shite
[3:59:33 PM] D L says: i going to do normal people things
[3:59:44 PM] Princess Leia says: orrh
[3:59:52 PM] Princess Leia says: talk to u later la ex best friend
[3:59:58 PM] Princess Leia says: a butch got no friends one okay
[4:00:02 PM] D L says: like read email and type it out with my delicate femme fingers with long nails
[4:00:04 PM] Princess Leia says: cos they are like the lone ranger
[4:00:12 PM] D L says: i be your horse la
[4:00:20 PM] Princess Leia says: i have to stop smoking menthol lights
[4:00:22 PM] Princess Leia says: too sissy
[4:00:24 PM] Princess Leia says: i need…
[4:00:26 PM] Princess Leia says: winstons
[4:00:30 PM] Princess Leia says: marlboro REDS
[4:00:31 PM] D L says: GUDANG GARAM
[4:00:38 PM] Princess Leia says: that one is for malay uncle
[4:00:43 PM] Princess Leia says: im a butch..not malay uncle
[4:00:45 PM] D L says: smelly and manly wat
[4:00:56 PM] D L says: salem la
[4:00:58 PM] Princess Leia says: chey! wat do femmes like u know…
[4:01:17 PM] D L says: we know wat its like to have a best friend u can go shopping wiv
[4:01:20 PM] Princess Leia says: im rolling my own butch ciggy
[4:01:21 PM] D L says: phui!
[4:01:30 PM] Princess Leia says: and picking my butch nose
[4:01:33 PM] Princess Leia says: talk to u later!
[4:01:36 PM] D L says: big ass ciggy ah? 10 cigs roll into one
[4:01:38 PM] Princess Leia says: the nose shit getting on the keyboard
[4:01:46 PM] D L says: eeeewwwwww….
[4:01:52 PM] D L says: bye ex best friend
[4:01:54 PM] Princess Leia says: haha
[4:02:00 PM] Princess Leia says: byeee

Princess Leia is very butch one okay! Just because she looks like she could do a stand-in as one of the band members of Abba doesn’t mean she’s girly.

I love my best friend dearly, but I think to suit my status as a roaring mullet-bearing bulldagger butch I need a new butch buddy. There is no such thing as a platonic friendship and Crappy Girl is too femmey for one. People might mistaken her as one of my femme conquests and where would I be? In butch hell of course… I’m a very loyal butch okay… into friendship and all that… I won’t touch my friends one. Also, she’s too thin for me, I might squash her with my (insert brand of vehicle tyre) tummy.

Also, I think it’s time for work.

I’m a manager.

At Starf*ck. Or was it Delifrane?

I’m a seriously bored cavebutch

It’s confirmed… I suck at formatting anything. It’s not LJ’s fault. =(

I tried realigning and reformatting the text in the previous entry 10,000 times to no avail. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I hate computers… what happened to a nice decent pen and a piece of clean crisp sketch paper?!

Oh wait… I’m a cavebutch! I ain’t using no sissy white paper! On the other hand, this weblog’s design is kinda sissy as well. Oh well.

On a serious note, I really need to do something about the dead lavender plants in the balcony. They seemed to have been taken over by cabbage-like weeds. I should have cleared them in the summer of 2007.

Must take out the shoe racks from the garage as well and wash the curtains and bedsheets. Also need to mop the floor and clean the toilet.

Wait a minute… I’m too butch for all that girly housewifey stuff!

I will go pluck my butch nosehair now, and wait for the femmes to come knock on my door. I know they will marvel at my collection of high heels and dresses, but no way am I gonna let them borrow anything. Especially my makeup. It’s butch makeup that’s too butch for them sissy femmes. Give me a flame-thrower welding femme any day!

I’m DA BUTCH! (entry moved from LJ)

Spring is in the air!! *Lalalallaala*….despite the termperature soaring to a high of 20 degrees only. Grr…and it was just 32 degrees two days ago. It’s like having the feeling of needing to poop, only to start straining futilely the moment you sit down on the bowl. The season is having constipation and just can’t push Spring out properly. What the hell….

I have been ranting and raving at the group of inepts I have to work with this morning. Can’t believe the multitude of ridiculous questions that I have been asked. For example, we have to copy the option prices of today, and some are highlighted to show that they are of a different type. We are supposed to note down which are the different types.

Inept #1 asks me if we have to highlight the different types after we copy and paste them because the colours do not show up in MS Words.

Sigh…I’m so speechless…isn’t obvious that you have to make some sort of note so that you know which are the different options? Seeing how you can’t tell them apart??

Double sigh…

Just off to a bad morning. The good thing is, it’s noon now, and my msn is quiet. I told Inept #1 to get some coffee before she started speaking to me again. And no, I wasn’t being harsh (enough) as she asked me plenty of other retarded questions besides the one I just stated. They were OBVIOUS questions with OBVIOUS answers…as in, you could tell what the answer was just by looking at the webpage you were on. Even a pre-schooler would know.That said, I don’t claim to be the smartest person on the planet, in fact I think my intelligence level is rather average. When I think someone is dumb..they must be really dumb…for no one can be as average as me…. I did not inherit my parents’ genius gene.

Today…today I am highly unmotivated. I’m supposed to get started on my Intellectual Property research paper. But for some reason, my fingers just refuse to manipulate the mouse to click on the Uni’s Library website so that I can start getting some books.

I thought of tons of things to do before I opened my eyes this morning. It happens all the time. I would dream about going to Bondi, get myself hyped up to wash my bedsheets…think about going to the school library to get books, download options for our assignments….

By the time I open my eyes properly, I feel so exhausted. It’s as if I’d already done all the things I’d been thinking of while lying in bed.

Perhaps next time I shouldn’t think. I should just be rash and impromptu.

In case you’re wondering what’s up with all the paragraphing… I’d just got sick of having my words crammed together, seeing how I have no idea how to fix the template or html coding or whatever it is…I can’t even fix the font size. I have no freaking idea how LJ works eversince they decided to upgrade their site into something quite unuser-friendly. I’m thinking of switching to blogspot or wordpress.

My left ribcage feels bruised. I have no idea why. Maybe I was wrestling with a bear in my sleep.

It’s bright today. Very bright. I’m wearing sunglasses indoors because I have to leave the blinds open before moisture and mold starts creeping across the house again.

I am also stopping myself from going Bondi because I am in one of my phases where I buy things without thinking… My makeup is overpowering the wardrobe and I don’t even use half the colours. Sometimes I open the plastic drawers I keep them in and just stare at them lovingly… My favourite pastime nowsadays (ahahaha…couldn’t help with the Singlish) is to clean my brushes, rearrange my cosmetics…sniff them to check if they can still be used (trust me, an expired lipstick smells really funky). If I’m not doing that, I’m adoringly cleaning my shoes and bags. I bet A misses me like crazy because there’s no one to clean her suede and leather shoes anymore. I take good care of my footwear and handbags.

If I return to Singapore, I’m demanding a room of my own…. I have too much stuff. This time, it will be like a REAL PERSON moving in…not just a couple of paper bags and some random books. Her toys have to share space with my toys. Bleah! And my clothes…seriously… I have not been able to solve the mystery of the ever increasing amount of clothes… I don’t even think I shop that much…since I hardly have anything to wear.

Oh wait, I do have things to wear…they are all winter wear. I’ve been going crazy buying winter stuff for the last two seasons. I am constantly on the hunt for the perfect winter coat…and I have never given that up. Along the way, I fill the need by buying coats that end up making me look like an auntie. I’m trying to put away the winter stuff, and I realised, the storage bags under my bed are already too full and my wardrobe is bursting at the seams. It’s like this magic wardrobe where you can almost shove in an infinite amount of stuff….but recently I’ve been testing its limits…

I’ve also been testing the limits of my room space by contemplating putting in shoe racks. The shoe racks are still lying in the Personal Chef’s car. They have been there for almost 3 weeks. I can’t motivate myself to go to the garage.

What’s the point of trying to arrange everything and create space and all that…I’m not even sure if I will be here after graduation…seeing how some people are procrastinating themselves into outer space. I could be wilful and just run off I guess…wahahahah….

Must have an update about my hair. What’s an update without hair?

My hair is….gross. It’s sticking up without any apparent thought to order, and the longest strands are touching the back of my shoulders. The shortest strands are barely pass my eyebrows. That’s how crazy and disorderly my hair is. I swear it’s developing into a mullet. I’m going to be a true-blue bulldagger with a mullet. Where the fuck is my wallet with the chain..and do butches here do the FUBU jeans thing? I don’t have a baggy enough checked shirt…oh wait…A has one, and luckily it’s hanging in my closet. We thought it would be good winter-wear-at-home (? I think…she might get insulted and would have meant for it to be worn out)…I have Bluntstones!! So I have my butch shoes…umm..I can’t do anything about the boobs…but I can make up for it by puffing out my gianganticus tummy, so that three become one (if you get my drift). I am also trying to grow out my eyebrows by not plucking them, so by the time I am ready to out myself as a butch, I will have Frida Kahlo eyebrows…and maybe a moustache to match. A will look like an ultra High Femme next to me, and my parents will weep buckets.

I think I can make a pretty good butch. I know how to use a saw… and I roughly know how to put water into a car battery…and I know where to stick the crocodile clips if you need to jumpstart a car… and I think I know how to take out the U-pipe under a sink… I can kill lizards… I’m more man than a lot of butches out there. Wahahaha….

WAHAHAHAHAHA…

Beautiful girls always have moustaches…can’t remember where I heard this, one of my very ching chong Chinese aunts i think.

Anyway it is once again a too-long post and I have chatted myself off the point terribly.

I’m DA BUTCH OK!

Gimme eat.

 

 

 

 

 

I’m no sissy!

Ahaha..I entertain myself so much sometimes…I just received and sent this out to A…

A:bahbui!!!!! whahahahaah u going bonkers liao
why dun u take a walk into the mall and get some chocies

Me: I’m DA BUTCH!! Butch no eat Chocs okay!! And butch no use sissy word like CHOCIES. It’s chocs. CHOCS. ME Butch..me eat condensed Whisky! Me go eat red meat now for lunch. Wait..do butches do lunch..or do they just say…gimme eat now?!

 

I am so amused by myself…

 

 

New Blog!!

Wahaha…new blog! I got tired of LJ’s ugly settings that made me feel like I was reading the newspapers…

Anyway, I guess I just have to post in some of my earlier entries from LJ. Stupid LJ…goodbye.